


Ante Mortem

by Minew



Category: SHINee
Genre: -Ish, AU, Agender, Angst, Cancer, Crimes, Fantasy, GIRLee, Genderbend, Genderfluid, Homophobia, Multi, Polyamory, Romance, Time - Freeform, Trans Characters, Transphobia, alternative universe, assassinations, terminal illness, unpleasantries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-11 14:19:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10467006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minew/pseuds/Minew
Summary: Jonghyun doesn't have a lot of time left to live in. With the hope that there is truth to the myths, he sets out to find the personification of Time. Little does he know that others are looking as well.





	1. Past Times

**Author's Note:**

> It is said that the personification of Time can grant a human more hours if the human succeeds in finding Time before they run out.

The second-hand on the wall clock ticks away slowly, counting seconds. He’s staring at the clock, waiting for the time the hand will strike 12 and another minute will begin again. Over and over in a circle of life that will only repeat itself. The hours will tick by slowly, leaving nothing in their wake but death in the end. There will always be someone for which the second is the last, someone who will never see the next hour. He’s wetting his lips with his tongue as he follows the second-hand as it starts a new routine, a new minute. Time will go on as long as he will be there to guard it.

 

* * *

 

**September 2008**

 

Jonghyun yawns and pockets his hands. The fog is lying thick in the morning and the visibility is only a few meters. The cars are driving slowly so as to not get into any accidents. The young man pops his neck and continues down the streets. On the corner is the neon light sign showing the open GS25 and he slinks inside. He walks up and down the rows pretending he looks at the snacks before he takes a deep breath and walks directly to the counter. The middle-aged man behind it looks at him with a squint and Jonghyun shrinks a little. This is so different from what he was raised to do.

“Uhm, I would …” He takes a deep breath and wills his hands to stop shaking in his pockets. He can do this. He’s confident. He will get the job. “I want to know if you’re still looking for an employee?” 

That’s a lie. Jonghyun knows they’re still looking for a young employee because there’s a sign in the window and it has been there for the past 2 weeks. The neighborhood isn’t the best in Seoul and Jonghyun has met many shady people on his way from the small apartment where he lives with the man that has raised him to the convenience store. 

The man behind the counter just nods and hands Jonghyun a paper. Jonghyun takes it a little confused until he looks down at the paper and realizes it’s a form. He takes a deep breath before he asks if he can borrow a pen in a shaky voice. The man just nods towards the sitting area with the small electric water boiler and Jonghyun hurries over. He sits down and looks at the form again. There’s an old ballpoint pen attached to a string lying on the table and Jonghyun grabs it and starts filling out the form.

_Name: Kim Jonghyun_

_Age: 18_

_Education:_

Jonghyun looks at the form before he decides to just dot down what makes most sense.

_Education: Daeil High School_

_Former occupation:_

He skips that one and goes right to ‘why do you want to work here?’ The form is quickly filled with the rest of his information and as he hands it over to the man behind the counter he takes one look before he shrugs and puts the form away. Jonghyun really needs the job, however. Not only does he need the money, he also needs the distraction his school can’t provide. He needs a setting that is neutral and won’t bring any attention to him.

“You’ll get a call in a couple of days if you get the job,” the man says and Jonghyun leaves the shop with slumped shoulders. He hears a woman call for help as a pickpocket runs away with her wallet but nobody bothers to help her. The police are rarely in this area anyway and everybody knows not to carry money or important documents. They have all adapted to the semi-criminal area they live in because the government cares only about the rich people. 

The fog has lifted a little while Jonghyun has been in the shop but the atmosphere is heavy with the threat of rain. As Jonghyun enters the apartment and locks the door behind him, he calls out but gets no answer. It’s not uncommon. He lifts his wristband and stares at the 655.540 that is tattooed on his wrist. When he was 15 it had been 683.280. He hides the number and digs into his backpack and pulls out his math book. Jonghyun might as well get some homework done while he waits for the man who has raised him.

 

* * *

 

**March 2010**

 

“Oh,” Taemin says and the person in front of him nods a little. “Does that mean you want me to use she/her-pronouns?” The person nods again, lower lip worrying between teeth and Taemin sends her a smile. “Okay then!” The girl blinks up at him.

“Are you okay with it?” she asks and Taemin nods a little.

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be?” He can see her sigh in relief and that makes him laugh a little. “Come on Jo...Junghwa! You’re my best friend! It doesn’t matter that you’re a girl. Actually, I think I like you better as a girl.” He wiggles his eyebrows and she snorts.

“I would never date you, you’re gross,” she says and they both burst into laughter. They spend the afternoon in her room discussing her trans-identity and what she’s going to do with it. She tells him she has been stealing her sister’s bras and stuffing them with socks and that there’s a dress buried beneath her underwear in case her mother is to go through her laundry. Taemin understands the struggle, however, because he’s not fully sure he’s a he either. It’s not like Junghwa, however. Taemin knows that he isn’t fully she either. It confuses him pretty often but he never tried labeling it. Junghwa raises an eyebrow at him when he doesn’t answer her question.

“What?” he asks sheepishly. He doesn’t tell her about his concern when she asks what’s wrong, wanting this to be about her, but they end up talking about him as well in the dark of the night.

“Maybe you’re fluid,” Junghwa says and Taemin looks at her with a strange look.

“Fluid?” he asks and Junghwa nods.

“Yeah! I came across it when I was looking for my own gender.” She blushes a little at the revelation but trans-identities are not exactly common in their neighborhood. “It’s when you change your gender between two things or more. Like some days you’re a guy and other days you’re a girl or … nothing at all.” Taemin raises his eyebrow and changes his position on the bed.

“Nothing? Can you be nothing?” He asks in earnest and Junghwa nods excitedly. 

Junghwa doesn’t know a lot about genderfluid identities but Taemin gets curious. When he arrives home after school the next day, he logs onto his computer and starts searching. The more he reads, the more this seems to ring true within him. Some days he’s a boy and it makes plenty of sense, but then on other days he’s definitely more girl – and he realizes that this is okay. The more he reads, the more he finds that he/him-pronouns are making him uncomfortable when he’s a girl. 

He looks through his closet to find the headbands and the tights in his dresser. The old T-shirt he cut into a crop-top when he was 13 still rests beneath the other clothes in his closet. It isn’t until he comes upon gender-neutral pronouns that he realizes that this is him. 

Taemin is genderfluid and he’s not a him, he’s a fae. 

Taemin doesn’t know how to bring it up to his family, however, but he doesn’t need to when they ask to Junghwa over dinner.

“How is Jongin?” his mother asks and Taemin bites his cheeks quickly before he corrects her.

"She’s fine,” he says and suddenly all eyes are on him. 

“She?” his older brother asks and Taemin nods, feeling intimidated. His parents share a look that is so disgusted Taemin shrinks in his chair. He avoids all the questions that follow and the remarks of the sweet boy that turned out to be such a freak have him shrinking in on himself. Taemin feels horrible when he goes to bed that evening but he doesn’t get any sleep, his parent's words still circling his mind. They will no doubt think of him as a freak as well.

 

* * *

 

**July 2010**

 

Minjung is late. Her mother usually requires her to be there within 5 minutes but she’s still at least 15 minutes from the café where she’s supposed to meet her next blind date. Minjung isn’t really in a hurry, though. Meeting men that her mother for some reason deems good for her and the company has never really been Minjung’s biggest interest. In fact, she’s getting tired of it. So she spends plenty of time walking down the street in her wedges and summer dress. She’s dressed to impress and she sticks out like a sore thumb, even in the upscale neighborhood. 

Minjung hasn’t chosen her own attire this morning either and it proves as the dress strap keeps slipping off of her shoulder and her left ankle is forming a blister in the shoes. Her long hair is curled into soft ringlets and she keeps throwing them back over her shoulder so they don’t blow into her face in the soft breeze. She looks just as rich as she is. Despite this, she still walks slowly down the street, stalling as much as she possibly can before she’s face to face with another rich young man, looking to impress the only Choi-daughter. 

She’s walking in her own thoughts, swallowed by self-pity, when someone bumps directly into her. They apologize and reaches out to dust off her dress. Minjung looks at them for a second before she spots the look in their eyes. They’re looking directly at her Fendi purse and it takes only a split-second before they reach out to grab it. Minjung holds onto it, however, her gaze directed at the stranger that quickly lets go and sends her a sheepish smile.

“I’m sorry,” he says and Minjung shrugs a little. 

The stranger in front of her is good-looking. His blond hair is showing black roots and his face is sharp edges with a soft glow. His skin is remarkable despite his shaggy looking shirt and jeans. Minjung doesn’t really mind getting robbed by this stranger. Actually, it makes her feel sort of rebellious because losing her cards will only get her mother mad at her. She looks through her purse before she finds her wallet and hands it to the stranger who is now just staring at her.

“Here, take it.” They’re staring at each other. The man in front of her ruffles his hair and blinks a few times.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” he says and starts an explanation about how he was just trying to get the dust off of her bag. Minjung sees right through him, though.

“Oh, stop it. You’re a pickpocket and you want my wallet, so here, take it. I’m busy so I don’t have time to discuss this.” She looks at her wristwatch and notices that she’s now going to be at least 20 minutes late if not more.

“Stealing is illegal,” the man says and Minjung raises an eyebrow.

“And yet you were about to grab my purse and run off. Come on, this is a one-time offer and I won’t report to you the police…” There’s a slight pause before she starts counting down. “10, 9, 8, 7…” The man in front of her looks uncomfortable to be put on the spot but when she reaches 1 he finally takes the wallet from her grasp. Minjung sighs relieved, only to be disappointed when he puts it back in her purse.

“You should be more careful. There are people out there who aren’t as nice as I am,” he says and Minjung rolls her eyes.

“Sure,” she says sarcastically and turns away. She can’t be more than 30 minutes late before her blind date will complain to her mother and that is a scolding Minjung would rather not receive. She can throw away her money and her cards and have fun in her small rebellious acts, but skipping a blind date is going to result in disappointment and verbal punishment and she’d rather not experience that again. She has barely taken 3 steps before the stranger pats her shoulder and has her turn around. His smile is lopsided and genuine and Minjung notices a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“You should give me your number, though. As compensation,” he says and Minjung stops for a second in shock. Then she laughs and nods. There is something exhilarating about the stranger. It’s not every day you get asked for your number by a man who minutes earlier tried to steal from you. Minjung leaves the stranger with a new number and name in her phone. The blind date is just as boring as she had expected.


	2. Chapter 1

**March 2017**

 

If there is one thing Kim Kibum is not, it’s weak. Right now, however, he feels very vulnerable. He pockets the small card with his next appointment and instead finds his phone to check if he has any text messages. There is an apology from Jonghyun who has had to cancel their date and Kibum bites his lower lip before he answers quickly.

He doesn’t want to be alone, though. It would allow him to think about the news he has just gotten and he doesn’t want to think about them. Maybe he’s still a little shocked. This isn’t something he had ever expected to hear, the words from the doctor’s lips so foreign to him it had almost been gibberish.

“The biopsy showed malignant tissue. I have scheduled you for a PET/CT-scan in two days to see how far the cancer has spread.”

Kibum knew he had lost weight without reason. He knew he should have gone to the doctor the moment he had noticed but he had been too busy and had written it off as stress.

When he had gone to the ER for pain in his upper abdomen he had expected a virus infection, not a CT scan he had postponed once or twice. It was all to no avail, however, with how the doctor had told him in clear words that he has cancer. Kibum doesn’t think the PET/CT-scan is needed but he hasn’t dared look at his wrist.

He doesn’t want the verdict of his disease. Not yet.

He looks at the people passing by before he decides to call Minjung to see if she is at home. When she answers her phone, Kibum takes a deep breath at her voice. It’s calming in a way it shouldn’t be.

The two of them are a strange couple, a mystery according to most and a disgrace according to her parents. They both know that she doesn’t have any desire for all the smart, rich men her mother sets her up with, however, and they both know that he has no desire for other girls than her.

“Kibum?” she asks and Kibum chuckles a little. “Why are you calling? Aren’t you supposed to be with Jonghyun today?”

Kibum nods a little before he realizes she can’t see him.

“Ah, yes, but he had to cancel. What are you doing?”

It’s not rare that Jonghyun has to cancel a date. They never really fought because of it because Kibum understands. None of them are from a respected area like Minjung and they both work hard to get food on the table, Jonghyun harder than Kibum.

Jonghyun is also on the right side of the law. He’s not like Kibum who steals from the people he gets in contact with, cheats whenever he can.

It’s not that Kibum is a pickpocket, not anymore, but there are more refined ways of committing crimes and he has taught himself how to live in a world that cares little.

“Oh,” Minjung says and pauses. Kibum can almost hear his heartbeat over the loud traffic on the main road as he leaves the hospital behind. “My mom has planned a blind date at 7, but I can come over until if you want me to?”

Kibum nods again before he realizes that she really cannot see him over the phone.

“That would be amazing,” he says before he hangs up.

The walk back to his apartment is long and Minjung is probably going to arrive before him. He doesn’t like that she’s in his neighbourhood but Minjung refuses to meet up elsewhere. There’s a certain thrill to it, according to her.

Kibum has almost forgotten the potentially fatal disease when he reaches home. Just like he has predicted, Minjung is sitting on the door mat, waiting for him.

“You sounded distressed on the phone,” she says and gets up. She’s wearing a pair of torn jeans and a t-shirt, both of which costs more than Kibum can earn in a month. Kibum shakes his head a little, the words a reminder of what he doesn’t want to remember.

“No… I’m just tired I guess.”

He finds the key and opens the door with a creak. His apartment is small and cramped but it’s home and Kibum likes it all the same. Comme Des and Garcons join them in the hallway, small yips directing their attention to the dogs.

Kibum pushes inside and goes into the small kitchen so he can start boiling water. It’s not much but it’s more than he has ever had in his entire life and it feels good. The walls are thin and the windows aren’t isolated but he lives.

Minjung looks around in the living room and eyes a new painting Kibum hasn’t hung on the wall yet.

“I can’t believe you got another painting,” she says and Kibum shrugs while he pours two cups of tea.

“It was there and the owner hadn’t picked it up in a week, it was practically mine to take.”

She laughs at that and joins him in the small kitchen.

“You don’t have wall space for more paintings. Can’t you just let them sit in the storage?” she asks and Kibum frowns when he turns around and hands her the cup of tea. Minjung warms her hands on the hot liquid.

“You don’t know anything about pawn breaking, babe. Just let me do my work.”

He doesn’t mean to be aggressive but her hurt expression tells him he has been anyway.

“I’m sorry,” he tries but Minjung brushes it off and takes a sip of her tea.

They sit in Kibum’s bed, the dogs are lying on their legs and a movie is playing on Kibum’s old TV. Being with Minjung usually takes his mind off of his daily life, she’s a bubble of comfort and she has the ability to make things disappear but today it’s all in vain. Minjung knows something is off as well. His kisses have been lacklustre and he barely responds when she asks.

“I’m sorry,” Kibum says when Minjung stands in the doorway a little before 5. “I love you.” Minjung just sends him a smile and nods a little. “Really.”

They are polar opposites but he loves her. She grabs his hand and gently traces the back of it with her thumb.

“I know, Kibum. I love you too.”

Kibum leans closer and kisses her gently, a promise to do better and an apology. She pulls away a few seconds later and sends him a smile.

“If something is on your mind, you should talk to me, hm.”

He nods and promises that he won’t keep things from her. He knows that he isn’t going to tell her about the cancer, though.

There are things he can say, things she knows and accepts and understands. And then there are the things that will hurt her. Kibum isn’t going to tell her that.

 

 

Jonghyun flops onto his bed after a job well done. The poor man had been unsuspecting and the kill had been effortless. A shot to the heart and the man was dead. Over and done. Jonghyun had left the scene afterwards, not bothering to stay behind and watch as paramedics tried to save the man. The woman had paid him in advance and her husband was dead.

It’s always the same tale; rich woman wants rich husband dead so she doesn’t have to deal with his violent personality and instead gets all the money as a widower as opposed to only half in a divorce. The death also leaves out the social stigma of a divorce.

Jonghyun is tired of it all. He’s sorry he had to cancel on Kibum too. It’s not often that he has a job that interferes with his dates, but he can’t ignore the demands when they’re made. They’re what pay his food after all. He groans a little and lifts his head.

With fumbling he finally removes the bracelet around his wrist and looks at the tattoo underneath. Another 17520 hours lost, another two years off his life that he’ll never get back. He sighs a little before he hides his face in his soft pillow again.

Jonghyun falls asleep in his position few minutes later.

 

 

“Why did Minhyuk call me?” Minjung’s mother asks the minute she steps inside. It’s rare that her mother ever steps foot into the hallway, but today she is there, waiting with crossed arms and a finely kept eyebrow raised. Minjung shrugs.

“Maybe I was a little late?” she answers and hands her trench coat to the maid. She steps out of the high heels and stretches her arms above her head.

“He said you smelled like another man.”

Her mother’s eyes scrunch together. Minjung raises an eyebrow. Minhyuk had been doused in cologne. It’s impossible that he could even smell her soft flowery perfume, let alone Kibum’s aftershave.

“Have you been with that Taemin kid again?”

Minjung can hear the disgust in her mother’s voice and she relaxes her stance and steps away from her. She doesn’t want to hear her mother talk about her boyfriend like that.

“He’s not a kid,” she says and doesn’t deny nor confirm that she has been with another man.

When she leaves the hallway, she hears her mother call for her but Minjung doesn’t look back. She closes the door behind her when she enters her room. The curtains are drawn and stops the light from entering. It’s comforting in a depressing way.

Her room is large enough for two and could definitely hold two of Kibum’s apartments and four of Taemin’s bedrooms but it’s one of the smaller rooms in the house. There is fine art on the walls that Minjung never looks at. She would have gifted it to Kibum if it wouldn’t have been obvious that she got rid of it. The furniture has cost a small million and her bed is so soft that it sometimes gives her backaches. She’s tired of the rich comfort she’s been raised with.

Minjung kicks the door behind her in frustration before she walks into the room and sinks onto the couch. She draws her knees close to her chest and rests her chin on them before she heaves another sigh.

People always tell her they’re envious. They want what she has. They want the grand house, the garden that is so large they need four gardeners. They want the clothes, the bags, the shoes, the sunglasses. They want the financial freedom but they don’t understand that it comes with little freedom to do anything else.

If Minjung had the ability to choose she wasn’t rich. She doesn’t want the clothes, the bags, the shoes, the sunglasses. She doesn’t need a grand house or a garden so large she can’t attend it herself. She doesn’t want financial freedom.

She finds Kibum’s job fascinating. She also, to a certain extent, finds Kibum’s boyfriend’s job fascinating. She loves the need for money that makes people work hard to be able to pay their bills. She envies that they can choose what they want to spend their money on because all that is important is that they enjoy themselves.

It’s all the things Minjung can’t do because she must act appropriately as the daughter of Choi Yunkyum.

She is tired of all the expectations, especially because the expectations to her are different. Her family wants her to marry a well-off man and that’s it; act like a lady and all that.

The rest of society expects her to have the greatest education, the greatest job, the greatest life, just because of her parents and they always believe her to be an arrogant snob because of the money that her father and her grandfather before him have accumulated.

She closes her eyes and lets her body slide left until she is lying curled up on the couch. She doesn’t open her eyes and is soon asleep in her awkward position.

 

 

 

Tick. Tick. Tick.

He looks at the plant in front of him, observes how the eukaryotic cells work through their photosynthesis. There is life because he is here. He sends the green leaves a smile before he turns his head when someone taps his shoulder. A young girl, aged 4, looks at him with wide eyes and then points to the plant with a question.

“The plant will live as long as there is sun, water and carbondioxide,” he tells the small girl and she turns around and starts running towards her parents. His smile falls as he looks at the happy family. There aren’t many hours left.

 

 

 

It can’t be true. Taemin stares at the paper in faer hands.

 

_Dear Mr. Lee,_

 

_We regret to inform you that the Academic Award scholarship you have been receiving has been discontinued for your future studies._

_You’re welcome to contact me if you have any inquiries._

 

_Professor Jeon_

_College of Liberal Arts_

_Yonsei University_

 

Fae reads it over again and again until fae knows the words backwards and then fae throws the letter to the floor. Fuck. Fae can’t continue with faer education if fae doesn’t get the scholarship. It’s the only thing fae wanted to do before faer hours are up.

Nobody knows that faer hour count is low, maybe with an exception of faer parents but Taemin doesn’t give faer parents much credit.

Faer older brother pops his head into Taemin’s bedroom and Taemin turns around and steps on the letter to conceal it from faer brother. Taesun raises an eyebrow before he tells Taemin that dinner is ready.

Taemin doesn’t like faer family but fae likes them even less now that fae has to tell them that fae lost the scholarship. They don’t appreciate faer major. To them fae is less than faer brother. Taemin sighs. Maybe fae is less. Maybe fae has always been less.

“Taemin!” faer mother shouts from the hall and Taemin sighs one last time, just for effect, and then leaves faer bedroom to join faer family in the kitchen.

Dinner is as usual. Taemin sits on faer chair and eats in silence while faer mother gushes over Taesun’s newest A+ on his assignments. Taemin is just there. Faer father says nothing, just like Taemin, but it’s not a pleasant silence at all.   
  


“Mom,” Taemin says when they finish dinner and fae is helping with washing the dishes. She looks at faer quickly before she continues washing the dish. “You know how I had the Academic Award scholarship, right…?”

This time she stops completely and turns around to face him.

“What did you do?” she asks and Taemin shrinks a little in on faerself.

“Nothing,” fae says in defense before fae sighs. “I lost it…”

Faer mother looks at fae with disgust before she snorts and turns back to the dishes.

“Of course, you did. It was only a matter of time before those professors of yours realized that someone deserved it more than you.”

Taemin slumps over and starts drying a new plate off while faer mother continues her tirade about how useless fae is.

When the dishes are finally finished and Taemin is lying on faer bed, fae finds faer cellphone and quickly shoots a text to Junghwa. Fae is counting the seconds. Junghwa knows faer family but she doesn’t know about the scholarship and right now fae isn’t in the mood to tell her. Fae feels like shit like always, it’s not a new feeling and fae has known it ever since fae was a child and Taesun was better than fae.

Junghwa doesn’t answer, however, and Taemin soon buries faer head in faer pillow and groans.

Sometimes fae wonder if the reason fae has so little hours is because fae was never loved. Fae wonders if parents can automatically lower the hour count of an unborn child if it’s unwanted. Then fae brings faer head up from where it’s buried in the pillow and fumbles with the band around faer left wrist.

8766 is glaring at faer, a reminder of how unwanted fae is and Taemin buries faer head back into the pillow so fae can forget faer existence, if only for the hours fae is asleep.

 

Minjung wakes up to the sun streaming in through the large windows and groans. She hates Monday. She can hear the maids rustling outside her bedroom but none of them dare to disturb her. It’s better all the same because Minjung doesn’t need the reminder that there are people waiting to do her every bidding.

She stays in bed for another 10 minutes before her back starts aching at the soft mattress and she gets up. Minjung grabs her silk robe and slings it around her naked form before she leaves the bedroom to the maids.

The chef has cooked breakfast when she walks into the kitchen on her bare feet. Minjung’s mother has told her plenty of times to at least wear underwear before she goes to the kitchen, but Minjung believes it is her right to wear whatever she pleases – and also not wear whatever she pleases. She grabs a pear and saunters into the living room. Well, one of them.

She gets a disapproving glance from a maid, but ignores her and when the fruit juice gets onto her hand, Minjung deliberately cleans her hand on the couch. It’s a completely dick move, but the maids are there for her mother, to raise and reprimand her and Minjung doesn’t feel any pity for them. They chose the job, she can act as spoiled and snobbish as she wants.

The big longcase clock rings once, indicating a half hour and Minjung looks up to see that it’s half past 9.

With a yawn she gets up from the couch, stretches her arms in front of her and leaves the half-eaten pear on the table to leave a stain before she leaves the living room with long strides. Her robe slips over her shoulder and reveals some of her bare boob but she gives it no mind.

When she gets back to her bedroom, she finds an old T-shirt and a pair of jeans. It’s designer clothes, but it’s a lot more her than dresses and fancy high heels and it doesn’t look like designer-clothes anymore with how worn it is, and Minjung likes it like that. She puts her hair into a messy ponytail before she slips on a pair of socks. While she brushes her teeth she stares into the large mirror above the sink, looks into her own soulless eyes before it becomes too depressing and she looks away. Another day maybe.

When she’s finally ready, she heads downstairs and into the hallway, only to find the butler ready to hand over her trench coat. Minjung ignores him and goes for her school bomber and toes on her sneakers. She’s out of the door before her mother or any of the maids can reprimand her for looking less like a Choi and more like a commoner.

She hurries down the street, hoping to reach the bus stop before her driver catches up with her. The minute she steps onto the bus, she sees the black car turn onto the street and she smiles wickedly. The bus-ride is bumpy and long and noisy but it’s normal and Minjung loves it.

When she gets off the bus, she helps an elderly lady with her walker and sends her a smile.

Taemin meets her at the front gate and fae snuggles close to her chest, way more clingy than usual. Minjung raises an eyebrow in worry when fae finally lets go and instead laces their hands together.

“What’s up?” she asks and fae shakes faer head and squeezes her hand.

“I’ll tell you later,” fae says and Minjung dips in to kiss faer quickly.

“Okay. Are you gonna eat lunch with Junghwa?”

Taemin shrugs.

“I don’t know,” fae says. “I’ll text you.” Minjung nods a little and then puts a hand on faer bicep to stop faer from running away.

“I love you,” she says and Taemin nods a little.

“I love you too,” fae says and then leans in again to press faer lips against Minjung’s in a short, but strong kiss. “You really gotta go, babe. Otherwise professor Kim will be furious and it’s gonna be a horrible lesson if he’s all passive-aggressive.”

Minjung laughs a little.

“Text me, okay?”

Taemin nods.

“I promise. See you.”

And with those words they separate to go to each their buildings.

Minjung feels awfully lucky she attends the same university as Taemin. Without fae, she isn’t sure she would’ve managed to stay positive throughout all her classes. Everybody knows who she is and everybody is too afraid to talk to her, afraid they’re going to say one thing wrong that – for some reason – will cause the end of their lives.

Taemin makes college bearable, normal, mundane. Taemin makes college absolutely perfect. 


	3. Chapter 3

“Hello,” Jonghyun mumbles when the bell over the door indicates a person entering. He doesn’t look up from his magazine. The voices that start whispering tells him there are more than one person in the small convenience store. It’s 11 PM in the small shop and Jonghyun has an hour left. In the last 2 hours, it has been practically vacant. It isn’t until the customers put a sixpack of beer on the counter that Jonghyun looks up from his magazine. In front of the counter stands two young boys, definitely younger than 19.

“Two packages of Raison Red,” the one clad in a black hoodie says. Jonghyun raises an eyebrow.

“ID,” he says and reaches a hand out. He can see the two boys fiddling a little in their pockets, probably looking for the fake ID. Jonghyun really doesn’t care about their age and he’s going to let them buy their beer and cigarettes anyway.

“I’ve forgotten it,” the guy says and Jonghyun purses his lips shortly.

“You know I can’t let you buy it unless you can prove you’re 19 or older.” Jonghyun can see them looking briefly at each other.

“Come on, man. We’re obviously 19,” the other guy says. Jonghyun blinks a little and leans back in his plastic chair. It’s unprofessional at best, but Jonghyun is too tired to care.

“Oh, really?” he asks and the guys sigh a little. “Aw, boys, don’t be so discouraged.” He punches the numbers into the cash register. “21.000 won.”

The two boys look at him. Jonghyun reaches his hand out towards them and wiggles his fingers a little.

“I’m waiting. And I’m not tolerating theft so you’re paying twice for the gum in your pockets.” Jonghyun wiggles his fingers a little again. “Cough up or I’m calling the cops and telling them you’re trying to buy cigs and booze while underage.”

The hooded guy sticks his hand into his pocket and produces two 10.000 won bills and hands them to Jonghyun. Jonghyun looks at him with a piercing glare. The last 1.000 won bill is produced reluctantly but when it finally lies in Jonghyun’s hand, he sends them a bright smile. They gather their stuff in a hurry and Jonghyun calls a chipper ‘have a good evening’ after them. The bell sounds again when they exit and Jonghyun returns to his magazine. Jonghyun has only flipped one page when the bell sounds again, indicating someone new entering.

“Hello,” he says but once again doesn’t look up.

“So rude,” a voice says in front of the counter and it has Jonghyun promptly putting his magazine down. He stares into the most gorgeous brown eyes he has ever seen, but today they’re dimmer. They don’t shine as bright as they usually do but Jonghyun dismisses it. Maybe the other man is just tired.

“Hey babe,” Jonghyun says and the other man yawns a little before he walks around the counter and plops into Jonghyun’s lap.

“Aren’t you off soon?” he asks and Jonghyun smiles while he wraps his hands around the other man’s waist.

“We close at 1.30 AM. You know that, Kibum.”

Kibum frowns but leans against Jonghyun’s chest nonetheless.

“Mmmh. I missed you yesterday. Can’t you just ditch the last 2 hours and close the shop?” Kibum asks and Jonghyun laughs.

“And get fired?”

Kibum scoffs a little and gestures with his hand in the air.

“You’ve worked here since you were 18. Don’t you think it’s on time you do something I can be proud of?”

Jonghyun raises an eyebrow.

“And what do you suggest? Doing pawn-breaking?”

Kibum glares at him and Jonghyun sends him a soft smile before he pecks Kibum’s cheek.

“Okay, you win.”

Kibum turns in Jonghyun’s lap before he connects their lips. Jonghyun doesn’t count the seconds while they kiss. Whenever he’s with Kibum, it’s like time stands still. It doesn’t feel like he’s moving steadily towards his death. Jonghyun appreciates the lack of time he has when he’s with the other man. Kibum, with his black hair and large bomber jacket he stole from some credulous fool. Kibum with his feline eyes and dark kohl eyeliner. Kibum with his skinny and elegant frame that shows sturdiness nonetheless.

Kibum leans back and lets go of Jonghyun’s lips. It’s only 11.46 PM. Jonghyun squeezes his waist a little.

“Are you going to stay with me when I get off?” Jonghyun asks and Kibum nods a little.

“If I wasn’t, I sure as fuck wasn’t going to wait around for you. For two hours!”

Jonghyun just snorts.

“Take a beer or something then?”

Kibum just shakes his head at that and leans closer to Jonghyun. Jonghyun raises an eyebrow. This is not normal behaviour. He doesn’t say anything, though, because Kibum mumbles ‘I love you’ against his neck and Jonghyun forgets.

 

 

The large glass double doors slide open for faer as fae steps inside. There are voices talking all around faer, machines beeping as beds pass by with or without patients. Fae looks to faer left, towards the waiting area. The nurse behind the counter looks at faer and tilts her head a little before she returns to her phone call. Fae watches the people in the large room before faer phone vibrates with an incoming text message. Taemin snorts a little when fae reads the text. As time passes by, fae starts to get a little restless. Fae is here to pick up Junghwa after she was pushed down stairs. Fae is pretty sure she has fractured her wrist because that’s just her luck but it’s odd she isn’t done yet.

When Junghwa finally does exit the doctor’s office with a cast on her left wrist, Taemin sighs a little.

“Are you sure it’s worth it?” fae asks and Junghwa looks at faer incredulously.

“Of course it is!”

Taemin gets up from faer seat and gently laces faer arm with Junghwa’s.

“Hey!” she says. “I just got an idea.”

Taemin widens faer eyes.

“Oh no,” fae says and Junghwa hits faer lightly with her healthy hand. Taemin laughs a little. “So what is it?”

Junghwa leads them out of the hospital and onto the streets. She is walking towards the small side streets where they both know there will be smaller clothes shops. Neither of them actually shop in big malls and brand stores after they came out. It’s obvious to the world that Junghwa is not a girl yet and looking at girl’s clothes only brings them lots of stares. Junghwa has been growing her hair and has been slimming down and while she looks absolutely fabulous to Taemin’s eyes, she hasn’t actually started transitioning. Taemin knows she’s saving up for a breast augmentation to get rid of a little of her dysphoria but they both know she is going to need a lot of courage because her family is not going to be supportive of her. Junghwa pulls at faer arm and Taemin looks at her.

“I need a new dress,” she says and sends him a smile. Taemin sighs a little, but fae doesn’t say anything to counter her statement. Fae worries about her, but no matter how many times people accidentally push her down stairs or how often people blatantly express their dislike of her, her smile never falters in public and Taemin admires her for that. She pulls faer with her into a small shop and starts looking around. Taemin swallows faer worry for the time being and starts looking through clothes on the hangers for her.

 

 

Kibum knows it is worthless. All the medical procedures his doctor has suggested, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, surgery. It’s all useless because none of it will save him. His doctor has tried to convince him, has tried telling him that maybe he too can get healthy – or at least have a few years left. But Kibum has looked at his wrist and the 6 months he has left is not going to change. He’s terminally ill and he can either choose to go through countless of strong medications and suffer their side effects or he can live the last few months he has left like he wants to.

He sighs and sits down on a window sill in front of a strip club. There are people laughing and dancing behind him in the club as girls in little clothing wiggle their asses. Outside the music can only be heard dimly, though. Kibum almost reaches into his pocket to get a cigarette but then he has second thoughts and decides it won’t do anything for him anyway. He’s watching the nightlife go by in the flashy area of the worst neighbourhood in the city. He sees beggars steal from other beggars and old homeless people fighting over what food they find. He watches the flashy black cars arrive to and from brothels, a sort of anonymity the rest of the city uses when they don’t want to get recognized in the area. Nobody wants to live here. It’s a well-known fact that if people first end up here, they never move away.

Kibum didn’t exactly end up in the neighbourhood by own will. In fact, he is pretty sure nobody had intended for him to even be born. His mother certainly hadn’t wanted him and his father is still unknown to Kibum. Then again, who cares about the son of a prostitute? Maybe it’s better this way. He’ll let the disease off him; he can be a tragic story. Maybe Jonghyun and Minjung will move on and find worthy lovers that isn’t criminals. He wants it for both of them.

He sighs again as he gets up from where he has been sitting and starts walking towards his home.

 

 

Blue blinks break through the black night. People are running around on the streets, doing everything they can to save the people inside the vehicles that have crashed together. He sighs a little as he walks closer to the commotion. Close enough to see what is happening but far enough to not get involved. It is not his business. He turns around when he feels a chilly breeze and notices a woman with long black hair standing a few meters away. She turns her head and gets eye contact with him and then sends him a smile. He shakes his head fondly before he makes his way towards her.

“She still has one minute left,” he says and she rolls her eyes.

“Let me do my work, will you?” she asks and he chuckles a little. They draw attention from the few people around them but only for a split-second or two before everybody else again turns to the chaos that is unfolding before their eyes.

“I can’t let you take her before her time hits zero,” he says and she sighs.

“It already has,” she says and he shakes his head, lift the sleeve of his left arm to reveal a wrist watch intricately designed.

“Not yet,” he says and watches the second hand climb towards the big zero where there should have been twelve. The second it lands on the zero he looks up and gets eye contact with the woman. “She’s all yours,” he says and gestures towards the two crashed vehicles. She nods and grabs a small notebook from her purse and with a beautiful beige pen writes the name of the woman in her book.

“Over here!” a paramedic shouts and starts CPR on the woman that has just gone into cardiac arrest.

“I’ll see you again soon, Jinki,” the woman says.

“We’ll see, Minji,” Jinki says before she walks away. He stays to watch the paramedics declare the woman dead before he too turns around and walks away from the scene. The other people involved still have time left.

 

 

“Minjung,” her father says and Minjung looks up from her book. He’s standing in front of her, dressed in a black suit like always. His face remains neutral as he watches his daughter. “Your mother wants you to join the annual charity ball at the Kim’s.”

Minjung already knows where this is going and she already knows she doesn’t want to attend.

“I can’t, papa,” she says and bites her lower lip and tries to gain sympathy. Her father doesn’t really look at her.

“I want you to make an effort to get to know their son this year.”

With those words, he turns around and leaves her alone and Minjung slumps into the couch and puts her book away. She hates the Kim’s. Not only are they the stereotypical rich family, her parents have been trying to get her to marry their son for the past 5 years. Minjung considers herself lucky that they haven’t arranged a marriage yet.

She knows her father has only told her because her mother knows she won’t listen. If Minjung misbehaves now, she’ll be punished.

Minjung isn’t in the mood to read anymore so she leaves her book on the coffee table and retreats to her room. She’s standing with her back against her door and staring at her phone but she doesn’t even want to text either of her boyfriends. There is nothing they can do either.

 

 

“Oh,” an elderly lady says. “Are you Kali’s son?”

Kibum turns around, uncomfortable at the mention of his mother’s name. The elderly woman who walks behind him sends him a wide smile. She’s wearing shaggy clothing and her face is caked in make-up. He bets it has been all her life but old habits die hard and Kibum knows because he has seen the prostitutes and how they come in all ages. This woman, however, must be too old to actually do business, but she obviously knows his mother. He knows he shouldn’t react like this. It will only serve to prove that he is, in fact, Kali’s son and that could be dangerous, but he can’t look away when he watches the old woman with her short hair and pink lips.

“So, it is you! Oh, dear boy, you look so much like your mother.”

Kibum cringes at what is supposed to be a compliment but he doesn’t say anything to her. She sends him a smile again and Kibum notices a few of her teeth is missing.

“I’m Xiao,” she says and Kibum shrugs. “You don’t remember me, do you? I don’t blame you, I’ve grown so old in the past few years!”

And when she chuckles Kibum widens his eyes.

“Xiaoxiao?!” he asks and she nods with another smile.

“Oh, child!”

Kibum throws all caution to the wind as he embraces the old woman. He’s well aware that she could steal from him in the vulnerable position, that it could be a ploy, but he trusts her. Kibum hasn’t spoken to her ever since she left the brothel he grew up in when he was 12, but she has been a grandmother of sorts for all his childhood. The only woman in the brothel that tried to raise him and teach him right from wrong. He guesses she didn’t succeed all that well considering where he is in life. Xiao laughs and releases him, only to grab his face in her dirty hands and turn it from left to right so she can look at him.

“How is your mother?” she asks when she’s done. Kibum rolls his eyes.

“Dead.”

Xiao gasps.

“Oh no, I’m sorry. Tell me what happened when I left?”

She pulls him with her to a small bench in a forgotten park. Garbage litters around on the grass but nobody really cares.

“Mmmh, Mr. X was as … well, you know him. Nina took me in, mom started doing drugs more heavily. She died when I was 18 and Mr. X kicked me onto the streets because I didn’t want to sell sex.”

Kibum shrugs a little and Xiao looks horrified.

“And I who prayed to God every night to give you the best and he left you with such a future.”

She shakes her head and Kibum smiles softly before he places his hands over hers.

“I’m fine, Xiaoxiao. I have a girlfriend and we’re happy,” he says and she turns her head to look at him. She’s touched by the happy news and Kibum feels his heart shrink a little. He hasn’t told her everything, obviously not. She doesn’t need to know he’s about to die of cancer at the age of 25. Instead he tells her vaguely about Minjung when she asks to know more.

 

 

If Taemin wasn’t so absolutely horrified of getting beaten to death, fae would have landed a fist in the asshole’s face. But fae can’t. Fae can only listen to the cruel words spewed towards them as they walk down the street, arm in arm. Junghwa smiles and doesn’t appear affected but Taemin knows that the words affect when they’re alone and even though she keeps saying it’s worth it, fae sometimes does question if it really is that worth it. Whenever fae asks, however, Junghwa says yes. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

Taemin pulls her along and tries to forget the words and the laughter. Junghwa had been so happy earlier when she bought the dress and she really does look gorgeous in it, but apparently other citizens don’t think so. Most are too scared of confrontation but the guy that had been courageous enough to hit on her and had been surprised by her flat chest and her masculine face hadn’t been late to voice his displeasure.

“If my wrist wasn’t broken, I would've punched him,” Junghwa says as the man follows them down the street, still trying to mock them in public. Taemin snorts with laughter.

“You’re incredible,” fae says and Junghwa nods a little.

“So are you. Thanks for sticking up for me,” she says and Taemin bites faer lower lip before fae looks up at her and sends her a wide smile.

“Always,” fae says and she laughs a little.

 

 

Jonghyun browses through a magazine he has stolen from the convenience store when he closed up a few days ago. It’s one of those magazines that people never buy because of its themes. It’s usually a History magazine but apparently has a theme-week of urban legends and old myths. It isn’t really interesting.

There’re a lot of myths on vampires and werewolves. Those mythical creatures that exists in every culture. There’s a 4-page spread on gumihos but even those are uninteresting to him. It isn’t until he reaches the last few pages that he notices something interesting.

 

_The Time Paradox_

 

_In Ancient Baekje, King Onjo was suffering from pneumonia and his hour count dropped rapidly. It was inconvenient and King Onjo still didn’t have a son that could continue the kingdom. He requested for healers to save him and men from the entire country did their best to give him more time. The King became weaker and weaker._

_His notary wrote his testament when a young man entered the palace, followed by a soldier. The young man claimed that he could save the King and rid him of his pneumonia but the King had to promised that the young man wouldn’t be exiled for witchcraft. The King happily agreed and the young man did as he had promised. Word spread in the kingdom when the King suddenly gained better health but the young man seemed to have disappeared._

_Throughout history there are notes of a young man mysteriously curing people._

_The legend extends to foreign countries as well, tales of a young man who would cure diseases. Those he cured lived longer._

_People who have witnessed the young man in action have said that he acts like he can control Time. It has garnered the attention of conspiracy theorists who claim that if one meets this young man, he can grant people more Time as he must be the personification of Time._

_This has all been gathered in what today is commonly known as The Legend of Time._

 

Jonghyun blinks a little when he finishes reading. The Legend of Time sounds interesting. It sounds like it might be the answer to his low hour count. Jonghyun puts the magazine away and in the process ends up looking at his wrist. The number there, however, is much different from what it was yesterday. In black ink is the number 7.889. Yesterday it had been 297.840. Jonghyun blinks again but the number stays.

This is wrong. This is so wrong. This must be a mistake. Jonghyun hasn’t killed that many people. He was supposed to turn 60 years old. Not die when he is 26. He forcefully grabs his phone from the table top but as he stares at his screen, he doesn’t know who to contact, who to call. Jonghyun ends up putting the phone away again as he stares at the grey walls on his cold apartment in fear.


End file.
